sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize