then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
