my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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