She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
