So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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