"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize
