More tranny stories later!
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize