we're chasing vodka with high fives
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize