Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
