I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
