You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
