very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
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