From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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