The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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