drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Holy sore nipples Batman
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
