Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
