I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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