it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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