She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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