What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize