it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
