Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
My penis needs a shock collar
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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