I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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