she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
