im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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