Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize
