Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
