To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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