I'm passing your future prison.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
