dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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