so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
