Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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