I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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