There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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