Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Is it because I queefed?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
