Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
