my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
