So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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