Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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