I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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