we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
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