I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
