i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
this boner is exhausting
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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