also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize