she looked like the bat from fern gully.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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