People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Is that strawberry winking at me??
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
