How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
