HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
