I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
