Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I'm having to shit out rocks
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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