an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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