Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Randomize
