Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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