Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize