there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
