So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
