We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
